On December 20th, Matt’s Grandma Sullivan passed
away at 90 years old. It is a sad time for the Sullivan’s because she was the
matriarch of the family. I wish I had gotten to know her better, but every time
I saw her, she always welcomed me and she was such a kind soul.
We were scheduled to go to Wichita on the 23rd
for Christmas, so while we were sad we just missed seeing her one more time, we
were also thankful that we got to go to her funeral with the family. On Friday,
December 27th, we brought the kids to the funeral before our flight
was supposed to leave to come back to Atlanta that afternoon. I was stressed
about how they would behave, since sitting still is not a strong suit of either
child right now. Matt kept telling me not to worry.
It brings up another thing about me…I freak out about the
most random little things ALL THE TIME! I can lay awake at night stressed out
about the most mundane things…getting somewhere on time the next day, making
phone calls (making phone calls makes my palms sweat), flying with the kids, anything.
Last night it was the fact that the kids got a check for Christmas and I couldn't remember where I put it...I didn't have the energy to go get it to make me feel better, and instead I laid awake thinking about it (I am organized...I had it in my hands in 30 seconds this morning). You didn’t know that about me, did you?! Matt is regularly reminding me to let
things go...I think sometimes he thinks I am losing my mind!
Anyway, we were sitting at the funeral, and the priest had
just finished talking about Grandma’s life. She had strong faith and knew that
this life is temporary and seemed to be ready for what is to come. In her last
days, she started refusing her medication. When she was asked why, she stated, “Jesus
is taking care of me.” Powerful words from a strong God-loving woman. Words we
all need a reminder of on occasion.
At the end of this talk about her life and death,
there was a brief silence in the church. My son, who seems to have a knack of
saying the right thing at the right time, proudly and loudly stated, “Do not be
afraid!” I have talked before about how LJ repeats this statement regularly
because that is what Jesus tells us to do. If you ask him who says that, he
will very proudly say, “JESUS!” Wise words little guy, wise words...and perfect timing.
I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions, but this year, I
have made a promise to myself…to try to let the little things go, to have a
little less stress, and to not be afraid! The year ended a little rough…sick
family and friends and loss. I have 2 beautiful and healthy children and a
wonderful husband. I have a roof over my head, and all of my needs are met well
beyond my needs. I will pray for those around me to have peace. I will pray for
those around me to have comfort.
Sometimes it takes a little person to remind us that we are
not in control. It took a reminder from my two year old in a moment of grief
that God’s got this.
Happy new year, and I hope that 2014 brings all you could
hope for!
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