3 months old!



LJ loves his blue monkey!




Nothing cuter than a naked baby.




We have been celebrating Christmas all month!



Heading out to Grandma and Grandpa's for an early Christmas celebration! Thanks cousin Malachi for the outfit!

Just to show that he is awake sometimes!

LJ sticks out his toungue a lot...

Take one...trying to get a 3 month picture tonight. He wasn't having it.

And take two...still not working. Takes 3, 4, 5, and 6 weren't any more successful. It will create memories :)



Today LJ is 3 months old...a 3 months we will never forget, I am sure! Yesterday he weighed 10 lbs. 12 oz. and he is getting baby fat where babies are supposed to have it. LJ is becoming more and more aware of the world around him. He will now look at the puppies, and he likes to look at things with colors. He has started to reach for things...it's not coordinated, but he is trying. He seems to love his music, which doesn't surprise me being his Daddy's boy.

We have gotten out a little more the past few weeks. I will run up to the grocery store in the mornings when no one is there, and I keep him covered. I also have a sign from the hospital telling people not to touch him...usually it works, but I don't have a problem telling people to back off either. He visited my mom at her office last week because I needed to drop something off. We have spent a lot of time at my parents house because it is a change of scenery! Besides that, the doctor's offices seem to be our regular adventure.

Last weekend we celebrated Christmas early because my sister is going to Missouri to visit her in-laws for Christmas. Our nephew, Sam, is a year and a half old...he didn't really enjoy the festivities quite yet. I am sure by next year he will love opening gifts. It was funny though, LJ got a few toys that Sam has too...Sam sure noticed when we unwrapped them, and he would come over and take them.  Poor guy thought we were stealing his toys! Christmas day it will just be us and Mom and Dad...we plan on hanging out and relaxing for the day...I am sure a nap will be in order at some point! I am so lucky to have Matt home with me until January 9th! Over two weeks with him home all day will spoil me!

Yesterday we had our 2 week follow-up appointment with the GI doctor. I really like him...he is from Africa, and I can't understand about half of what he says, but he seems to know what he is doing. Unfortunately, LJ still has blood in his poo. After 2 weeks on the new formula, we were praying for better news. He still seems to hurt when he eats, but I hadn't visibly seen blood, so I assumed he was doing better. The doctor changed his formula again. I asked how much this new formula was....He said with his think accent,  "Think of the Nutramigen and Allimentum (the formulas he has been on that I thought were expensive) as the Mercedes or BMW of formulas...now think of a Lamborghini...that is the new formula." I knew then that we were in for it! Needless to say, I left the doctor and paid 46 dollars for a can of formula that will last him 3 days. Luckily, we found some on EBay...its like there is a black market for the stuff! The way it was explained to us is the old formula had milk protein that he is allergic to, but it is already broken down so that his body doesn't have to do it. This is usually enough to prevent babies with milk allergies to have a reaction. The new formula is amino acid based...it doesn't have milk or soy protein at all because many babies allergic to milk are also allergic to soy. The doctor also sent us for an x-ray this morning to rule out something else going on with his colon. In preemies, it is more common to find that they have a problem with their colon swelling. He thinks the blood is still related to the allergy, but I am happy he is being proactive. We haven't gotten the results of the x-rays yet. I hope we are one step closer to finding an answer to this problem because the screams when he eats now are heartbreaking.

On a better note, LJ is sleeping much better at night...he made it almost 5 hours last night! That is record setting! He doesn't want to go to sleep until about 11, and if you know me, I have always gone to bed really early, but if he sleeps after 11, I won't complain! He has also started napping in his crib during the day...some days he wants one nap, other days 2.  The other day he slept for 4.5 hours one afternoon!

I went to work today to pack up my things...it was great to see everyone there, and I miss being there. I don't have any regrets about staying home though. I had planned on bringing everything home, but once I got there, I realized I have no idea what I would do with a lot of it, so I brought a few things and left the rest for the teacher taking my place.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

One month at home!

Oddly enough, I just now realized that it has been one month today that LJ joined us at home! In some ways it feels like he has been here forever and in others, it seems like he just got home! It has been a whirlwind of long nights, countless doctors appointments, visits with family and a few friends, and so much love for our new little family. It's hard to remember our lives without him now that he is here.

Our schedules are settling in a bit.  I have come to terms with being up through the night, and LJ is actually starting to give in and let me even sleep a little.  We are up until he eats at 11, and then we sleep until 2. From 2 until his 5 am feeding are hit and miss...he likes to be awake through that time regularly, but we make up for it throughout the day. We have realized that he cannot cope with quiet...he needs noise to sleep. We have a Sleep Sheep that makes rain noises for 45 minutes at a time...after 45 minutes, he wakes up, cries, I turn it back on, and all is well with the world again. Today we bought a CD player that will provide him with full nights of noise. I sort of like the rain too...maybe I will keep the Sleep Sheep!  He sleeps as I vacuum under the crib, and when the dogs bark, and when the TV is on. It was never quiet in the hospital, so he doesn't know silence...works for me. It is rarely silent around here.

The puppies have taken to their new roommate.  We all sleep in our room. At first, every time he cried, or I got up, they all got up with us. Now, they ignore us. Occasionally, Tonka (the boxer) will get up with us quietly, come downstairs while I feed him and sleep at my feet.  Then he will quietly walk back upstairs with us. Bosco, the German, is having the hardest time because he is Matt's shadow. He is adjusting though...he's never been mean, he just whines. All 4 of the dogs check on LJ first thing in the morning...Costco jumps on our bed to look into the Pack N Play to see if he is there and then gets back off (He knows he isn't allowed on the bed, but I don't have the heart to yell at him because he doesn't try to hang around, he just checks in). Rosco...poor Rosco...he doesn't have a clue what is going on, but he doesn't seem to mind.

On Thursday we went back to the pediatrician to see if there was still blood in LJ's poo after a week on the new formula...there was. He was referred to a GI specialist, who confirmed the dairy allergy on Friday. He said it just takes awhile for it all to get out of his system. I was told that if I wanted to breastfeed again, I had to go completely dairy free...I did it for one day, and decided that at this point, the formula is working, and LJ is feeling better, so I am not going to mess with it. I called the insurance company and originally they told me that they would cover his formula 100%...so excited. Only to be told that they do not cover it for an allergy, only a metabolic something or other...I tried. I have found it much cheaper on Amazon though...just took some looking! Tomorrow LJ goes back in for his monthly Synagis shot...it helps to prevent RSV in preemies. He will have it for the next 4 months at least. Tuesday he has his bi-weekly eye doctor appointment...torture.

Matt's sister, Jenny, has been in town since Tuesday, and we are loving her company. We are pretty boring these days since we can't leave the house, but it is nice to have someone around for the week!

On top of all of this excitement, we are selling the house. With the change in our financial situation, staying here just won't work for much longer. We are sad in many ways...our current neighborhood has wonderful neighbors who have reached out in so many ways, and great activities and amenities for raising children. For me, the 5.5 years I have been here has had it's ups and downs, but the people around us have made it easier. We have had such support, many good times, and I hate that LJ won't grow up around that. It is definately going to be bittersweet, but Matt and I have also been looking forward to a fresh start for a long time, and now we are getting it. Since we got married, we have wanted to purchase a house of our own, but with the housing market and complications with dealing with banks, we have been unable to do anything until now. At this point, we are looking at what is best for our son. If all goes according to plan, we will be moving not long after the first of the year. Trying to show the house with an infant and 4 dogs is an obstacle I can't conquer!

It's been a whole new world...one with changes we didn't really expect, even after we knew we would be having a baby...an early introduction, quitting my job, moving.  It has at times been a lot to take in at once, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Every time I see LJ smile (even if everyone else says it's just gas), it makes it all worth it!

No Good Title...

LJ's due date is tomorrow! Instead we have a healthy 2.5 month old little boy...I can't imagine at this point still being pregnant! On Monday at his appointment he weighed 9 pounds...wow! I'm not quite sure where he is putting it all, but it must be in his cheeks.

LJ's tummy troubles continue...I took him back to the doctor on Monday because he had blood in his poop, and he was still spending his days very uncomfortable. The doctor believes it is a milk allergy, which is what I was afraid of. They had me take him off the extra calorie formula that I was mixing the breast milk with because it is milk based. She said that usually they keep preemies on the extra calories until they are 6 months old, but with his weight gain, he is ok without it. She also had me cut the dairy out of my diet. I did this for about 3 days and they took another sample of his poo...it was still bloody. Thursday they had him go off breast milk totally and go on a hypo-allergenic formula. It can take awhile for change to happen, but today it already looked better. I hate to say it, but formula may have to be the solution. Too bad it's the super expensive stuff, but  if it makes him feel better, it will be worth it! In the meantime I am still pumping until we figure it out, and I have a couple hundred ounces of breastmilk in the freezer. I am hoping to be able to donate it to the hospital for other preemies to use, just like milk was donated to LJ in the first days before I had any to give him.  If I can help another preemie, I will be more than happy to keep pumping for awhile.

LJ had another eye doctor appointment this week also. Mom took the morning off to go with me because I have drops to dialate his eyes before we go...it is impossible to do it alone! He still has premature eyes, but there is not any cause for concern as of yet. The eye doctor was telling us more about what they are looking for. Stevie Wonder was born prematurely and had Retinopathy of Prematurity (the technical name for it), and that is what caused him to go blind...they didn't have a way of fixing it at the time. Now, if caught early, they can do laser surgery to fix the problem before it causes blindness. It has to do with the blood vessels growing correctly.

We spent Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad's house, and we had extra to be thankful for this year. Our nephew, Sam, didn't really want anything to do with LJ yet, but he doesn't yet know that one day they will be best buddies!

By last night, I think the lack of sleep had gotten to me. Matt has been the best husband ever...he volunteered to take the night shift with LJ last night, and he let me sleep all night! 7 hours of straight sleep has never been so wonderful!  Luckly, Matt has every other Friday off, so he has an extra day to spend with us (and selfishly, split some of the night time feedings)! I tried to put him on a 4 hour feeding schedule one day last week, but it ended in disaster, so we are back to eating every 3 hours for the time being. I just pushed too hard. We are looking forward to Christmas break because Matt gets almost 3 weeks off again.

Below are some pictures that we had taken at the hospital the day LJ was discharged...one of the best days of our lives!

Full of smiles!

Settling in

Its been about a week and a half since we have all been under one roof.  We have made our rounds at the eye doctor and the pediatrician's office. I am tired. Matt is tired. LJ is tired...but we are together and that is what matters. Today at the doctor he weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and was 20 inches long...I would be 38 weeks now. He would have been a 10 lb baby, easy.

Last Thursday we went to the eye doctor for his bi-weekly checkup. His eyes are still premature (surprise!), but they are getting better. While we were in the hospital, they told me not to be there for his eye exams because "it looks worse than it feels" but now that we are taking him to the office, I had to hold him while they did the exam. They clamped his eyes open and stuck a metal rod behind his eyeball to move it around...horrible, awful, and we will do it again every 2 weeks.

Over the past week and a half LJ has had major tummy troubles...we are narrowing down the cause. I am ruling gas out...he has been on medication for it and it does nothing. I took him back to the doctor today to see what I could do, and they finally gave him reflux medication. We will see if that helps. I don't want to fill him up with meds, but he is so miserable. He spits up now every time he eats and then his tummy hurts so bad in between feedings, he just cries and squirms until the next one.  Last night him and I were up until after his 5 am feeding. He does not sleep at night...they attribute this to colic. We slept from 6 am to 8 am this morning. Matt was a wonderful help this weekend alternating night time entertainment with me so that I could get a little sleep too. It has also been mentioned he might have his days and nights mixed up...in the hospital it didn't matter...whatever it is, we will figure it out eventually!

We took LJ to Mom and Dad's house over the weekend because we needed to get out. We are looking for excuses to leave the house and their house is about the only place we can take LJ. It was nice to hang out with them and my sister's family. It has been a long time since things have seemed so "normal" around here!
We are looking forward to Thanksgiving...Matt's parents will be here Wednesday...we are so excited for them to see Georgia, meet LJ, and spend time with us for a few days!

Finally Home...

On Friday, 11-11-11, LJ finally made it home! The whole thing actually came as quite a surprise. On Thursday morning when I came in, the doctor told me that if he got all of his bottles that day, he could go home the next night...he had only gotten 6 bottles and needed 8 previous to Thursday. Our little guy decided he was ready to get home, and he did it! At home Thursday night, we cleaned ouse and got ready for his homecoming. We knew the day would come eventually, but all of a sudden Thursday night, I felt very unprepared...I think it all came so fast! I am not complaining though!

Matt got sick Friday, the day we got home. I spent our first night home as a family in our room with LJ while Matt was quarantined in another room. No one slept but Matt! LJ just cried all night...I don't know if it was the new environment, his belly hurting, or that he just wanted to be held.  We got through it and the next 2 nights were great. Matt was much better by the end of the weekend, so we got to enjoy some time as a family.

Mom took yesterday and today off of work and Matt went back to work. She and I took LJ to his first doctor appointment...he weighed 7 lbs 2 oz! When he left the hospital on Friday, he was 6 lbs 9 oz! He has decided he loves to eat! He is pretty severely anemic, but so am I...he is taking lots of iron and it should cure itself as he gets bigger. He has something funny going on with his belly that I am noticing more and more, but the doctor didn't say much about it. He gets so squirmy and uncomfortable after he eats...they are giving him gas medicine, but I'm thinking its reflux too...who knows. He has a follow up eye doctor appointment on Thursday. So far, they haven't found anything more than prematurity of the eye (duh), but it is routine to have one more exam.

Now we start our new life at home. Figuring out a routine will come hopefully sooner than later, but really, LJ has been a very laid back baby when his belly isn't hurting. I don't think it has really hit that we get him for good now! God is good!

Waiting...

After Monday, LJ let us know that he was mad at us for putting him through the circumcision. He quit taking his bottles, which set us back quite a bit. He had been up to 6 a day, but he went down to 1.5. As of today, he is taking 4 again. He seems to be feeling much better.  We are back to just being happy with being home by Thanksgiving! I would have been 36 weeks pregnant now, but LJ is 6.5 weeks old. As of today, he weighed 6lbs. 3oz. I have no clue how long he is because they don't take that measurement regularly, but he is a long, long baby...must take after his Grandpa Evensen. He is finally getting some meat on his bones though...I think he has his first baby rolls on his legs!

We did get good news that Matt's parents are coming from Kansas for Thanksgiving.  After that, Matt's best friend, TJ, and his wife, Shawna, are coming to visit for a few days...we haven't seen them since TJ married us over a year ago.  Then, right after that, Matt's sister, Jenny, is coming for a visit for about 10 days.  We couldn't be more excited to get them all down here to meet our little guy before the end of the year!

We had been allowed to only hold LJ when he was eating if the nurses let us, but as the weeks have gone by, we have sort of gotten more comfortable with holding him when we want to. It has made it much easier on us because there isn't a worse feeling than not being allowed to hold him when he is crying...now we just scoop him up instead of asking for permission.  I have realized that if the nurses don't think you know what you are doing, they say something, but if you act like you do, they won't say anything. I don't have a clue what I am doing, but I pretend I do :) This means that on Thursday my Mom got to hold him for the first time, and on Saturday my Dad did.  It's crazy to think that it took Grandma and Grandpa over 6 weeks to be able to hold LJ! My sister has been sick and so has my nephew, Sam, so unfortunately they haven't gotten to see much of LJ. We can't wait for Sam to meet LJ one day soon!

We were looking at the calendar today...sometimes it seems like only yesterday our little guy joined us, and in other ways, it feels like it has been forever! It has been almost 2 months since I went into the hospital. LJ was born 6.5 weeks ago! He will be 2 months old before we know it! When he gets home we will be the most prepared parents ever...it seems like we are at Babies R Us every other day for something new we have thought of needing. The hardest part is figuring out clothes. With him being born so early, the traditional sizes don't match...we have no clue what sizes to buy him. This is where the "adjusted age" thing will come in.  When babies are born early, they have their gestational age and their adjusted age. For developmental purposes, they will go by his adjusted age until he is 2.  For example, most babies smile when they are about a month old. LJ will smile about a month after his due date...so by January 3, we should get his first smile. At the hospital, they still refer to him as being 36 weeks because that is how long I would have been pregnant if I had him today.  Not being a math person, it's all going to confuse me at some point!

Happy Halloweenie!

Today was LJ's first Halloween, and I hope every one after this is a better experience! He was circumsized today, and then he had an eye exam where they dialate his eyes and clamp them open.  On top of that, they tried his car seat test, where he has to sit in the car seat for an hour and a half without alarms going off...needless to say they tried it after he was circumsized and he failed. They cancelled the test and will try again when he is feeling better. When I told Matt we tried it, his response was, "Only females would suggest he do anything but sleep!" I guess he is right this time!

There are faries that come out at night. Every day when I walk in, something is different. Sometimes it is major, sometimes something little. The faries bring blankets and clothes. They rearrange furniture. They move LJ's monkey and put clothes on him. Today he had a musical mobile when I walked in. I have come to enjoy the faries, and I am sad to think that they won't be following me home! I have told the nurses about my faries and now when anything happens at night, it is surely the faries who have done it. I hope they play with LJ too!

Our Journey

I have finally had a moment to download a bunch of pictures from the past 5 weeks...as of today LJ is drinking 4 full bottles a day! He had his first full bottle on Friday night...and has progressed since then! The nurse told me today that, providing any setbacks, LJ could be home with us in the next 1-2 weeks! 

Under the bili-lights when I was less than 10 days old.

Hanging out with Daddy at about 2 weeks old.

Dad and I.

Trying my very first bottle! I got almost half!

My first bottle with Mommy.

Drunk on milk.

Finished my whole bottle with Daddy!

Leaps and Bounds

Today LJ weighed 5 pounds! The past few days he has made incredible progress after his setbacks last week. THey took him off oxygen again last night, and so far he is doing great again. They have continued to increase his feedings...he is now taking 40 ml 8 times a day. We are working on nutritive breast feeding now...but last night he just figured out what he was supposed to do. He still isn't strong enough to get much, but he's getting there.  He is taking about half of one bottle each day too. He just gets too tired to get anymore.

Above are a couple of pictures I took today as I was sitting there. He has seemed so weak and fragile until now. I was playing with him today and realized that he is really starting to relax, fill out, and become more of what I think of when I think of a newborn.  He has such a gentle demeanor...he doesn't fuss much. He smiles alot (even if they are just gassy smiles!).

We have also decided that I will not be going back to work.  It makes me sad to leave my school of over 7 years, but I am also excited to be able to be home with LJ. Since his immune system will not be mature for quite some time, the thought of sending him to daycare scared us both.  A new chapter in our lives begins...

Along for the Ride

First...random fact of the day. Northside hospital has more babies born than any other hospital in the nation...about 18,000 a year. Makes me feel even better about LJ's care there!

This week was a bit of a roller coaster ride...with all of LJ's progress I guess we were starting to think he was nothing but a rock star (he is) and that he would just continue to make such great progress he would be home well before his due date. Come to find out, as they increased his feedings, there comes a point where he hits a threshold that he cannot take anymore. This happened Wednesday...I was in a panic all day because his oxygen saturation kept dropping and his heartrate kept increasing.  The alarms were going off non-stop and by the time Matt joined me that afternoon I was about at my breaking point because the constant beeping was getting to me! They ended up putting him back on oxygen.  They don't think it is a respiratory issue but a food issue.  He has reflux with the increased feedings and it causes him to be unable to breathe.  They have lowered his food intake again, but they have increased the calories that the food contains.  This means that he is still gaining weight (he was 4 lbs. 8 oz. today...he has officially gained a pound!), but he is eating less. They say that this is common and that it is just a matter of him growing more before he can tolerate the food.  It fasicnates me how they have it all down to an art.

They also gave me the go ahead to start trying nutritive breast feeding today...they weigh him before a feeding and after to see if he has actually gotten any milk.  Today he actually lost weight after trying to breast feed because he pooped in the middle of it. We will keep trying. They also will start trying bottles tomorrow. In order to go home, he has to be able to drink 8 bottles a day.

Matt got LJ's first explosion today...he was changing his diaper and as he took it off, LJ pooped.  It was like nothing I have ever seen! It was all over him, the wall, his cords and wires, the crib and many blankets, his dresser, etc. The poor nurse had to sterilize it all.  She set up a blanket shield around him for if he tried to do it again...luckliy for me, who got to change his next diaper, he didn't.  I'm sure it won't be the last time and luckily it wasn't at home :) He sure seemed to feel better afterwards though!

Today my wonderful neighbors had a baby shower for me.  It was great to hang out for a few hours away from the hospital, and of course, I got spoiled rotten. Between the meals, the gas gift cards, and the shower, I couldn't ask for more supportive friends and family! It has been truly amazing!

The dogs have been great! All four of them know something is going on (well there may be one who lives his life a little clueless), and they don't like being in the basement all day, but Matt comes home and plays with them every night, and they get to smell all of LJ's clothes and blankets every night.  They know what he smells like if nothing else. Of course, we will be very watchful of them when LJ gets home, but we think they will all be just fine. They have all been around kids since they were puppies, so they are used to the noises and pulls and tugs that come with little hands...its me and the 6 boys now!

Movin' on up

Today we were reminded just how fragile these little lives can be. We feel so blessed the Lee was born so healthy and that he continues to do so well. Lee is a fighter, and God has allowed him to be with us for a reason. We can't wait to see what he has to hold in store over the coming years.

On Sunday night as we were laying in bed not sleeping again, the phone rang. I sleep with it in the bed with me these days just in case the hospital needs to reach us, but not ever expecting that they would call. At 10 pm the phone rang, and the second I saw that it was the hospital, my heart dropped. Come to find out, everything was great and they were just letting us know that they had moved LJ upstairs to the step-down unit! It doesn't mean the long road is over, but it means that LJ is strong enough to move out of the most critical part of the NICU! He graduated from the 2nd floor to the 7th...this is a big deal in our new world of hospitals! We both felt like we needed to head to the hospital for a late night visit to make sure LJ was adjusting to his new world...some sort of logic prevailed, and we decided to let him be for the night!

I went in yesterday morning and I felt oddly disoriented. I was getting used to the protocol and routines of the 2nd floor and I had to figure it all out again. I think LJ adjusted better than we did...he was sound asleep when I got there. Actually, I think he is happier in his new apartment. It is much quieter and he seems much more peaceful. I laughed because he was the "easy" baby downstairs, but now it seemed like his alarms were the only ones ever going off. The only time LJ has really cried is when we change his diaper. He hasn't even done that the past 2 days...he seems to have given up the fight. That said, he is so much more alert. When we have been changing him, he will open his eyes and watch us quietly.

LJ continues to make progress...he is still in an isolette, but it is a more basic one...within the next few days, they hope to have him in a crib. They continue to lower the temperature in the isolette. Once he gets to room temperature and he maintains his body temperature for a period, he will move into the crib...he is almost there! They continue to lower the oxygen supply as he tolerates it, and soon he should have the nasal tubes out as well. His jaundice numbers were still good today, and they stopped the iv nutrition today too...he is just getting my milk (granted its the souped up version that has calories and fat added). He is gaining weight after his initial dip, and he is at 3 lbs 11 oz! I told Matt today that he really doesn't seem that small anymore. I was assured I was just getting used to his size :)

I am very excited about tomorrow...I get to start doing non-nutritive breast feeding. Basically, he won't get anything but what he gets from the feeding tube, but he will start practicing a couple times a day. In a couple weeks they will start having him try to breast feed and supplement it through the tube and then a bottle when he will tolerate it.

One of the biggest things in his new place is his need for clothing! They make them wear clothes in the crib, so we are practicing now. The preemie clothes were big! Its very difficult to clothe a baby with a bunch of wires through the arm holes in the isolette, but LJ has been very patient with us and doesn't seem to mind the clothes.

The nurses say that it will still be awhile before everything works together, but every day is a step forward!

Random knowledge of the week...babies don't get nipples until the very end. I assumed they were just covered by the sticky things that hold on the wires...nope. No nipples yet! They should be here soon!

LJ is one week old!

Sitting in the hospital for the past few weeks has made for plenty of time to think. While I am grateful for everyone who has crossed our path, and I am grateful that our son is doing so well, there are also times that have proven increasingly frustrating.

Today when I arrived to the NICU, I was not allowed in because a new baby had just come that they were trying to stablize. Of course I understand; they took the same great care with LJ when he came in one week ago. But...I also had the selfish reaction of wanting to see my baby. Of wanting to feed him myself instead through a tube. Of wanting to decide when I hold him instead of being told when and for how long. Of changing a diaper without worrying about the cords and tubes. Of changing a diaper when he needs it, instead of at 2, 5, 8, and 11.

Then I have fear. Believe it or not, while I am dreaming about the day they tell us LJ can come home, it also terrifies me. While he is in the hospital, I know he is safe. If he stops breathing again, they know the second it happens. They told us yesterday that by this weekend he may be moving to a new unit. It will still be in the NICU but a "step-down" unit where he will spend the rest of his time. I was excited because it is progress, but it also makes me nervous.

I have learned some other important lessons in my time at Northside so far:
-Mesh underwear make granny panties seem like heaven.
-Showers are taken for granted until you have a limited number.
-Hospital food isn't always horrible. It depends on the meal. When the meal includes broccoli, I cry-really.
-No one talks about what happens after the baby comes out. I am here to say that giving birth was nothing compared to the pain of the doctor raking and kneading on my stomach for 30 minutes afterwards.

Lessons we have learned from LJ:
-Poo is something to celebrate!
-When you dont want something touching your face, take it off. Even if that includes your nasal tubes, temperature wires, and feeding tubes. Slap those who try to replace them.
-Sugar water is the best alternative to ice cream.
-It is totally ok to wake up only to eat and go potty...sleep the rest of the day.

LJ continues to amaze us! He completely went off oxygen Monday night. His face was tube free! They decided to let him try it because he kept pulling out his own tubes and he seemed okay. The tube was put back in on Tuesday. His respiratory rate was fine, but he was working really hard to breathe, and he needs his energy to grow. He was under the bili lights for jaundice for 3 days. Those went away on Wednesday.
He hadn't been digesting milk well, so they skipped one feeding. He hasn't had a problem since. They increase his milk every 24 hours if he has digested all of his meals in that time. He has gone from 3 ml every 3 hours to 12 ml every 3 hours. To give perspective, a teaspoon is 5 ml, an ounce is 30 ml. We're getting there.

Every day LJ seems a little more coherent. He is opening his eyes and trying to focus. When he hears our voices, expecially Matt's, he looks towards them. LJ has a good set of lungs. The nurses keep telling us he makes sure to let them know when he is not happy. He's making a name for himself already!

We continue to feel very blessed, even in our moments of weakness and exhaustion. This is God's plan, and LJ is a gift.

Hello World!

So we changed course again on Thursday, September 22. I woke up in the hospital at about 2 a.m. with contractions. I laid there awhile to see if they would stop, but no such luck. I called Matt, and he was at the hospital by 4:30. I don't think either of us really thought that baby boy would make an appearance quite yet! We were coming to terms with me being on bedrest in the hospital for the next 5 weeks! They gave me a series of 3 shots again to see if it would stop labor, but LJ was determined to join us. I was lucky enough to have an epidural by about 8 am., and Matt, Mom and Dad, and I just hung out for the long haul. There was an arguement between LJ's doctors and my doctors at some point about where I should deliver, and it all had to do with the temperature in the room. It was a little odd to have the doctors arguing, but I guess they were just arguing for what they thought was best. LJ's doctors ended up winning out (which I am happy about), and right before I delivered, they moved me into the OR because it was warmer than the labor and delivery room. LJ joined us at 7:19 pm after a really long day! He is 3 lbs 8 ounces and 16.5 inches long. He came out crying, which was such an awesome sound because of the situation...they attributed his good lungs to the steroid shots I was able to get the week before. The neonatologist immediately took him away and checked him, but he was doing well enough that they let me hold him for a few minutes before they took him to the NICU.

They sent Matt with LJ, and me back to the recovery room where they fed me and made me rest until I was allowed to go upstairs. Things moved very slow at this point because I didn't know how he was doing, and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere. We hung out until we finally got the go ahead to go see LJ. Mom and Dad came with us to the NICU. We stayed with him awhile that night, but I was already going on almost 24 hours without sleep. Since I delivered, we have spent all of our days sitting in the NICU with LJ.

He is doing really well. Every day we have seen progress, which makes sitting by his side all day so worth it. He is relaxed, and we have been getting to hold him some.  He gets fed every 3 hours. At the same time, we get to change his diaper. They try to leave him alone in between feedings right now because everything he does is a lot of work. Right now, he is eating through a feeding tube, but hopefully within 3 or 4 weeks, I should be able to start trying to breast feed. The first few days he was given donor breastmilk, and by tomorrow he should be getting mine.  They still take it and add a bunch more fat and calories to it before they give it to him. Today I had my first "skin to skin" session with him, where they stuff him down my shirt and he sleeps in it like a baby kanagroo in a pouch.  We both fell asleep. Matt got peed on for the first time, so things are progressing normally :) Today he also got the big huge breathing tube out, and it was replaced with a much smaller one until he can go without one, hopefully within the next few days. He is not being given extra oxygen, it is just being forced in right now.  We can see his face now, so it was a huge milestone for him today! We also got to finally take his hat off (the old one was holding the breathing tube on), and we realized that his hair is much more blonde that we thought it was...and it just might be curly.  He is a spitting image of his Daddy right now. All he has of mine is the long and lean body...hahaha!

The nurses are incredible. They get you involved as much as they can, and each nurse only takes care of 2 babies, so they are very focused. Our first morning going to see him (Friday), we walked in and I saw a girl I used to play volleyball with in high school. She was his nurse for the day! It was kind of a good feeling having someone you are familiar with taking care of your baby for the day! I couldn't speak more highly of the nurses and doctors...they realize it is a stressful time and do everything they can to give you as much contact to your baby as possible.  LJ is already the superstar of the NICU. He is actually a lot bigger than many of the babies in there (the one next to him was 1 lb 5 oz), and he puts up a fight when they do something he doesn't like. You don't hear a whole lot of crying babies in that room, but LJ makes up for all of them!

We got home last night, and I think the adrenaline has worn off a little because I woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a truck. I have been up and around since first thing the morning after delivery and haven't stopped. It has caught up! Even though the little guy isn't with us, I still have to get up every 3 hours to pump because getting LJ my milk is more important than ever. Tonight is an early night to rest for me because if I get sick, I can't go see LJ, and I can't imagine that. Leaving him every day is already getting harder and harder. I plan on heading to the hospital as soon as rush hour ends each morning, spending the day with him, and Matt will meet me at the hospital when he gets off work. We will hang out a bit, head home, and do it all over again. We just pray he progresses quickly (like he is so far), and he can get home sooner than expected :)

Right now they still say to expect him at the hospital until his due date. However, some of the nurses have hinted that it could be more like 7ish weeks...we are just making a goal of having him home by Thanksgiving! I will upload pictures soon!

A Busy Life...

Tomorrow I will have been here a week already. For the most part it seems to have gone fast, but for the first few days I think the drugs had me a little out of it, so those days just passed in a haze!

Yesterday was my first day alone during the day. I was a big girl and made it all by myself until the evening. I don't know how the day seemed busy, but it did. They wake me up at 7 for medication, then breakfast comes, then I am hooked up to the monitors for an hour, then its time to shower. I guess my pace is pretty slow because by the time I get done showering, it is lunchtime already and the day is half over! I had some visitors as well...some more fascinating than others! The doctors and nurses and dieticians came as always. I did also get a visit from the chaplain inviting me to a mothers support group on Tuesdays...we will see about that.

The most interesting/strange visit was from the music therapy lady...yes, you heard me right. She was a very sweet, very chipper lady who reminds me of a preschool music teacher (I think she said she actually was). She comes twice a week for music relaxation therapy...she plays music that the baby (not me) likes for 20 minutes 2 times a week. She is writing Lee a song...it will be 10-12 seconds long? I was trying to figure out a way to tell this sweet lady I wasn't much of a music therapy kind of girl when she told me that people respond to her in different ways. One of which is by falling asleep (which she finds a compliment)...it's my new plan.  Let her come back and as soon as she gets here I will "fall asleep" and we will all leave happy!  Hmm....

I have ultrasounds every Tuesday and Friday, so this morning was like a big outing to the ultrasound room down the hall. I got up early and put on my nicest nightgown because I have no pants (maybe I should work on that). I even put my contacts in.  The perinatalogist was a little disappointed because my amniotic fluid levels were much lower than in my last ultrasound last Friday, but he said it could be worse. Either way, it doesn't change the plan. He said even with no fluid, they will not induce labor yet unless LJ is showing signs of distress. He isn't right now; he is doing great. He had his foot in his mouth this morning.

Matt and I made a chain to tear a link off every day I am here to count down to our hopeful delivery day. I have 31 links left today. We will see if our math was right when the day comes! Matt also tracked down a wheelchair on Sunday, and they let us go sit outside for 30 minutes...I am missing the start of fall! We will do that more often! The food isn't too horrible most of the time...they give me a choice of meals each day...could be worse! They even let me have a Diet Coke each day! I haven't had a Diet Coke since I found out I was pregnant! The first time I saw it, I was beside myself! The nurses are all very nice, many about my age. And the cleaning ladies, lunch ladies, techs and other random women walking in and out of the room are great too. That's about all I have for today!

5 Down, 33 To Go...

Thank you for the prayers, messages, and support over the past few days. I guess our little guy is just letting us know what we have in store once he gets here! I am going to try to keep up with this blog for the time being so that we can keep friends and family posted about when our son will decide to make an appearance.

Just to back up a little bit...On Tuesday evening I began not feeling quite right. I wasn't too concerned because I assumed I was over-reacting, and I have had a tendency to be a little paranoid about every wierd thing happening to my body throughout this pregnancy. I already had my 28 week doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day, so I decided to wait to go in until then. By Wednesday morning, I was really not feeling good, so I got an earlier appointment and went in just in case. I guess looking back, I should have connected the dots, but it never occured to me that my water had broken Tuesday night and that the cramping I was feeling was contractions.  The doctor had my mom take me straight to the hospital where I have been since.

The first couple days were stressful...they immediately gave me steriods to help mature Lee's lungs so that if he came this early, his lungs would at least work better. They also gave me a magnesium IV to try to stop the contractions at least while they were able to finish the steroids...that was miserable. The doctors seemed to think that delivery within days would be likely. At a little less than 29 weeks, Lee should be fine, he would just spend a lot of time in the NICU. The NICU doctors, the perinatalogists, and my doctors all came in to discuss what would happen.  They have been wonderful.  Call it answered prayers, but on Friday morning my contractions just stopped.

Where we stand now...
Lee is doing great. His heartrate is good. He is about 3 lbs, and he is very active. He hasn't minded any of this one bit. There is currently as much amniotic fluid around him as there would be had my water never broken. At this point, he produces his own through his pee...I guess he pees a lot.

They will not stop my contractions again if they start back up. It is more dangerous to keep stopping them, than to just let me go naturally. Also, since my water has broken, there is no barrier between the outside world and baby, so infection is the biggest concern. I am on loads of antibiotics, but if for some reason I start showing signs of infection, I will be induced. If none of that happens, they will let LJ continue to bake until  I am 34 weeks (October 22). At that point, it is riskier not to deliver than to deliver him early. So here we are...

I have been moved to the High Risk Pregnancy unit at Northside...the best place in the world to be. I was lucky to have Matt here since Wednesday, but he went home tonight. We realized that some sort of normal activities have to resume, at least for one of us, so he will be back at work tomorrow. I know the puppies are happy to have him back. The hospital is about an hour from our house, so its not overly convenient, but we will make it work. Mom and Dad have visited everyday too, so that helps. It is just going to be a new kind of normal.