Rest Well Sweet Boy

Last Saturday one of my former students passed away. Not only a former student, but one from my last full year at Hopewell before LJ came. One who’s Mom I worked with. One who spent extra time with us because he was there anyway. One who wasn’t just a student, but one of those students you really truly loved and wanted the best for. One who was only 14 years old and a freshman in high school with a smile of gold and a sense of humor to match. One that had the brains of a child beyond his years.

Every time I hear of a death of a former Milton student, my heart drops. I immediately wonder if it was one of my babies. In the past, it never has been. It doesn’t make it less sad when it is not one of your own, but when it is, the whole world seems to stop. My heart hurts for his family. My heart hurts for his friends, and my heart hurts for the lives he hadn’t yet touched.

When I heard the news that my student had taken his own life, my brain started scanning…the smiles, the laughter, the pranks, the last memory…oh, the last memory. The day I resigned from Hopewell, I went to his Mom’s room to bring my books back to her. He walked in, and I got the usual big smile and hug, along with some sort of silly banter that was typical in a conversation with him. He was my last hug before closing that door of my life. He was an ambassador…and I am sure he is on the welcoming committee in heaven today!

We don’t know what life has in store for us or for those we love. All I can take from this right now is that life is short, often we don’t know how short. God will guide through the pain, but for his family and friends, it will never go away. Hug your loved ones, let them know they are the center of your life. Pray for peace for those who suffer.

Matthew 4:5

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Rest well RB, you will be missed.

Tonka

Rough month all around. As many of you know, our boxer, Tonka, passed away suddenly the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. It has been harder than I thought. If you aren't an animal person, go ahead and stop reading.

 

As most know, I had Rosco, Costco, and Bosco before Matt and I met. They are all rescues, and they have gotten me through some rough times. So much that when Matt and I met, I made it very clear that if he didn't accept my dogs, we would never work out. Some days, I think he may like them more :) Then we ended up with Tonka...he is the product of Matt's parents' and sister's boxers. He was always big in size and even bigger in love. He just wanted to be with his "brothers" and his people.

 

In the couple of weeks prior, Tonka slowed down. Typically, the puppies stay in the family room until Matt gets home, and they all sleep in our room (I know, us, Kaycie, and 4 big dogs is a full bedroom, especially if you have seen our bedroom, but we wouldn't have it any other way). He started not wanting to get off the couch to come to bed. The first thing he did EVERY morning was jump on Rosco...he stopped. He still jumped for treats and ate some. We were just talking about taking him to the vet for a checkup the day he died. Matt was going to take him the next day because he was off work.

 

I came home from my parents that night to 3 silent pups...they usually greeted me with lots of noise, but there 3 of them sat. It smelled. I walked in to put Kaycie down so I could get LJ. Tonka was by the door. I knew he wasn't just sleeping. That night changed me. I am sick about it. I have had the priveledge of never experiencing death before until now.

 

If we had only done something that day instead of wait until the next. If we had only given him one last hug or one last cuddle. I walked out the door that day. He was sitting on the couch. I knew he was in a funk...we thought maybe he was depressed because of the new baby. I hugged him and told him he was okay, gave him a kiss, and walked out the door without another thought. We kept saying he was looking at us like he was trying to tell us something...he was trying to tell us he was just about done. It was likely cancer based on what we have learned, but we will never know. He was only 3.5. He was larger than life...all 110 lbs of him. It sucks. It just sucks.

About 3 months old.

Playing with friends dog, Allie...

Tonka at 2.

The last picture I have of him...taken days before he died. He loved to cuddle. Here he is with Rosco, our oldest pup.

Larger than life.